Do I miss you?
Missing would be a wrong word, it is more than missing,
something like huge time loss,
years spent on grief,
but most what was eating me was the defeat.
Losing to another, my kind, a woman.
And that is how I lost it!
It could have been better, if you told me so, on my face!
It could have been better, if you decided not to break my soul by your harsh words,
But let my heart break by straight words of betrayal!
I could have lived with that in peace! You know!
I know, when we fall in love there is always a possibility of falling out!
So, I could have lived with that, in peace!
I don’t know how in many years I have changed.
I don’t know when time mended my wounds.
Then I wanted to talk, I wanted to know,
What haunted me for years…
Did you ever love me?
Or it was my mirage that I still chase…
And I found you..
buried in guilt but standing still.
I don’t understand you now, I never had, I never will.
There were confessions in your hidden words,
It must be difficult to be straight for you!
Well, that is hell kinda of job,
to be straight, to be honest to our mirrors and our souls.
But I understood, what I needed to understand.
Your kind of hell is burning you deeper than mine.
There is no escape, so you celebrate the prison.
You laugh loud and keep your head up.
You drink poison like nectar,
Your life turned like, a hypocrite’s paradise!